I was too sensitive today. I was listening to the radio, and Marcus down right pissed me off. Or maybe I should say, he hurt my feelings. Because if he felt that way about one fat person, he obviously thinks that way about us all.
And for some reason, it felt like a shard of glass went right through my heart. What was it, you ask?
Something really stupid. I know it is very stupid. But it really just bothered me. I guess because he just shattered the little crush I had on him. That's the only thing I can think of.
He was talking about Ricki Lake, because it's her birthday today, and since she's not a fat thing anymore, she's cute. I was in such shock, I don't remember the rest of the wording, but I think I heard "Fat things need love too."
FAT THINGS?
Like I said, shard of glass. Maybe I misread what I heard, but I think he regretted it as soon as he said it, but I could be wrong. I still turned the radio off, and didn't listen to anything for the rest of the day. Until I was on my way home, and listened to Big Rog. I like Rog, he makes me laugh too.
It bothered me today because I was already feeling kind of weird because of a few things that happened this week. I had been trying to lose weight. But when I went to the doctor's that last time, and found that I gained weight, I really fell off the deep end.
I really am trying. I don't want to be like this anymore. It makes me sad when I see the people look, and I hear people talk. I know why it hurt me when I heard that comment today. I'll admit it, I had a crush on Marcus. I really did. And I knew I was not his type, but... I didn't want a reality slap. I knew I was never going to meet him again. But this...
It just hurt.
With that being said, I think I'm going to head off and work on my screenplay. I'm meeting with Rog on Sunday, and he's going to help me out with research for it. I can't wait. This guy's been super great. I'm really excited about this screenplay, and I can't wait to see how it's going to end.
Wish me luck!
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4 comments:
This made me sad...I've been there!! I feel your pain. I jumped on a radio dude too for the fat jokes. You're fab and you know that!!
He pissed me off too when I heard him make a comment on Amy Lee. Ya Amy Lee of all people. He said, cute little chubby Amy Lee. Chubby? Puhleeze. She is gorgeous. He obviously has a distorded image on beauty. You rock mamma dont forget that.
You guys rock : )
After my little chat with my new friend the other day, one thing I'm learning...
Don't take what the man says too seriously. I still have that crush yes, but... it gets dimmer every day.
He's very superficial, and well. I don't have room for superficial in my life!
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