heart of embers

she tries hard

tries so very hard to belong

push, pull, tug, yank

yet, she stays back in the deep dark shadows



when will she be seen?

when will she be noticed?



like a little girl

wanting her teacher's attention

or that longing look from the homecoming king



she yearns

she longs

yet she remains overlooked

over and over



no one can see the heart of gold

buried so very deep

so she thinks

yet

so obviously worn on her sleeve



everyone looks past

never at



no one sees her

shiny heart of gold

despite her mad hand waving

for their attention

or

her crying out



"please look at me!

please see me!"



they all continue to look past

to the horizon

seeing further



for something bigger

something better

is always over the horizon



she's oblivious to what's behind

she wants to move forward

ahead

to what's new

what's better

what is yet to come



never does she look back

until she realizes

where they are looking



behind her

bigger,

better



her head hangs down

defeated yet again



her eyes remain on the horizon

tears roll down her cheeks

she knows she has lost

yet again

at the realization,

her reality



there will always be

something bigger,

something better



and it's a fight she'll never win



she tried so hard for their approval

approval she never got

and never will



she's defeated

she slumps

she has only herself to blame

her hopes

her dreams

all gone

reality hindered once again

by simple minded thoughts

that this time.

this time would be different.



what she wanted to be sunshine

was only her heart

the heart of gold on her sleeve

glowing brighter in hope

only to be

snuffed out again

from the hurt

the pain



back to the deep dark shadows

she goes

her heart of gold

has faded

faded into nothing

nothing but a heart of embers









cherri l kauss 2009