Too Sensitive

I was too sensitive today. I was listening to the radio, and Marcus down right pissed me off. Or maybe I should say, he hurt my feelings. Because if he felt that way about one fat person, he obviously thinks that way about us all.
And for some reason, it felt like a shard of glass went right through my heart. What was it, you ask?
Something really stupid. I know it is very stupid. But it really just bothered me. I guess because he just shattered the little crush I had on him. That's the only thing I can think of.
He was talking about Ricki Lake, because it's her birthday today, and since she's not a fat thing anymore, she's cute. I was in such shock, I don't remember the rest of the wording, but I think I heard "Fat things need love too."
FAT THINGS?

Like I said, shard of glass. Maybe I misread what I heard, but I think he regretted it as soon as he said it, but I could be wrong. I still turned the radio off, and didn't listen to anything for the rest of the day. Until I was on my way home, and listened to Big Rog. I like Rog, he makes me laugh too.

It bothered me today because I was already feeling kind of weird because of a few things that happened this week. I had been trying to lose weight. But when I went to the doctor's that last time, and found that I gained weight, I really fell off the deep end.
I really am trying. I don't want to be like this anymore. It makes me sad when I see the people look, and I hear people talk. I know why it hurt me when I heard that comment today. I'll admit it, I had a crush on Marcus. I really did. And I knew I was not his type, but... I didn't want a reality slap. I knew I was never going to meet him again. But this...

It just hurt.

With that being said, I think I'm going to head off and work on my screenplay. I'm meeting with Rog on Sunday, and he's going to help me out with research for it. I can't wait. This guy's been super great. I'm really excited about this screenplay, and I can't wait to see how it's going to end.

Wish me luck!

Ponder = A poem

Ponder 9-04-08
Jesse S. Brennan
Cherri L. Kauss


The windows turn brighter
Slowly I open my eyes
The Sun greets me as it peeks inside
I Rub my eyes Stretch for a yawn
Feel so lucky to get to see another dawn
I make my coffee and ponder on yester
I can only pray that this day will be better
No regrets here
Just want the next best thing
Seems we always want what never will bring
But dreams are full of this thing called hope
Shines the brightest
But never shown
We wake to freedom
As some do not
We need appreciate all that we got

Regrets we should not have
As the dawn reminds us
We do have another chance
My chance... to continue hope
It does shine bright
Even through the flight
Through the doubt
When I least expect it, it is there
The reminder of yester
The want, the yearning, the drive I need
The reminder of freedom
My freedom
I sip my coffee with a smile
As I ponder the miles...
My freedom
This United States
Again, thankful as I look
At my sunshine of hope
I am free