Second Chance

This song has come to have meaning for me. When I first heard it, the very first time, it gave me goosebumps because it reminded me of a lot of different second chances I've gotten in my life. Now, it just reminds me of someone... someone that seems to mean a great deal to me, and for reasons I couldn't even explain.

Screwed up, isn't it? I don't normally blog about my crushes anymore. I don't think of him as a crush so much either, but as ... I can't even explain it. I've never had someone give me just about every single emotion under the sun, and I've only spent about 3 seconds with him in person. We've talked more through writing, which is always a big thing for me. I don't get that either, but that goes way back to my days of pen palling. That's how I did all my communication, through writing. And when I can find someone who either humors me well through the writing, or at least acknowledges me , I can't help but feel a bond.

At this point though, I'm kind of torn as to what I need to do. Part of me tells me that I need to let it just go, and see what will come of it, because I don't want to be a pain in the ass. Because last week, when I just let it be... he mentioned going to the movies on Tuesday... When my car died, and I couldn't go anywhere. Then again, plans for Saturday... fell through because we missed either other via email by 3 minutes. THREE MINUTES. I know it's not a big deal, but I spent all day Saturday feeling like complete and utter crap because I thought I was blown off... Only to find out, that wasn't the case at all. When I check my work email... there it was.

I mean... what do I do at this point? I missed out going to a band on Friday, because I knew he was going to be there, and I didn't want it to look like I was being "stalker chick". No, actually, I had planned that show for three weeks, and when I found out he was going to be there, that put the hault on that. I know, I had my plans first, but... honestly, I didn't want to meet him in such a public place. I'm not all that comfortable in the first place, and really... yeah, well, I just didn't want that to be the first time. (Cruefest doesn't count. He doesn't even remember that. And I only do, because I remember sucking it up and actually going up to him. No one understands that. Me. Getting courage to go talk to him. Wow.)

So, now... I'm at a loss. Do I just leave it well enough alone? Answer to that question... No. I just asked him to join me to see Quarantine on Saturday. If he says no, then... I'll let it go. He asked the other two times, so...

We'll see.

After all, I am a glutton for punishment.